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sincesheleft:

Favorite bar for a reason. (Taken with Instagram at The Gate)

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Currently watching Mona Lisa Smile. Julia Roberts plays an art history teacher who invites her students to live beyond the walls of their house wife roles and reach toward their dreams. She leads by example. She becomes an inspiration to her girls. An inspiration to me. Funny how that happens. You watch a movie and relate to a character almost as if you are seeing your life being played out. I love it, they make for great stories. 

Dear Future Husband, 

I hope to be an inspiration to you. see you soon.

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please.

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thankful for his beauty and grace. 

so its wednesday night and even though i know that i have loads of homework to do.. i choose to procrastinate. paint my nails drink a beer chat with the roomies watch whatever is on mtv. facebook. which lets be honest is the absolute worst. i could sit for hours going through pictures of relationships past dwelling on what could have should have or would have beens. and then i get allll emotional like the world is going to end but really i just use the heartache and sadness as an excuse to not do my assigned reading for the night. why do i do that. not the procrastination part but the dwelling part. its a waste of time i know but its always there. im always doing it. from experience we all know that dating someone else always helps. the adrenaline rush and butterflies that always seem to be trapped in your tummy always makes you forget. or temporarily forget anyways. blah. 

even though i know that it would have never worked out. even though i know we werent meant for each other. even though i know we live completely different lives. even though he still lives at home and doesnt have a stable job or go to school. this is how we know each other. we met here in this exact time in life. and we spent it together. time yes. but life mostly life. we spent life together. working thinking dreaming laughing experiencing together. i acknowledge it. i refuse to forget. its still all i think about. but then again here i am continuing to dwell. wasting time.

well cross paths sometime in the future im sure. but hopefully not anytime soon. 

Dear Future Husband, 

I promise to accept you the exact way you are. My love for you will be everlasting and my commitment will never end. I promise to look forward and plan for the future. But most importantly I will experience life with you. Daily. Being present in all aspects. I promise that I am working on this whole dwelling issue. I pray that you take me and love me with all that I am. issues included. 

Currently making dinner for one. not preferable but doable. Chicken brown rice and veggies. Thankyou mama for preparing me the best you could to one day, like today, be on my own. I giggle as i scrub the grout out of the tile to be sure that none of us get salmonella poisoning.

Dear future husband,

i will let you be king of the grill. as long as i can be the queen of the oven, to bake of course. i specialize in cupcakes cookies and apple pies. be careful because it does get messy. like flour on the floor and on my face messy. my mother once tried to teach me the whole clean as you go way of thinking but it never really caught on.